i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Your cock deserves a montage
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
