Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
