I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
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