For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
