no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
