After last night, I could never be a politician.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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