If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
