Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
