Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
