thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
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she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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