I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
