Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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