just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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