i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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