I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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