are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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