You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
farters have to be the big spoon...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
