There r osticjed everywhere
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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