I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
