I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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