never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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