Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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