No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Randomize
