And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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