She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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