Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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