So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
