this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
