Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
