I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
