I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Randomize
