need another drink. this is the easiest way
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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