Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
did you just send me my own nude
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
