I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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