Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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