I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize