my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
