She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have aggressive nipples.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
