it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
