I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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