is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
