ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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