Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
