the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize