But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the liver wants what the liver wants
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I currently don't understand fingers.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
