He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Boobs are out for the taking
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize