How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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