lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
