mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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