I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize