She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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