I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
