I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
