I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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