So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
