You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
