so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I could fuck to npr.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
