I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
