UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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