Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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