Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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