maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize