Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
