I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I still have a little drunk in my system
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize