Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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