..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My cat gives me a boner
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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