id be glad to
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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