areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
