Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
